If you're not the one.(draft)

"I dont wanna run away but I cant take it I dont understand if im not made for you.."
then why does my heart tell me that I am
Ive never fallen so hard to not catch myself falling for a false reality
been too caught up in your lies to know that you've been lying to me
Just wanted to hear words that cant break my heart
but those lies ripped me apart
and now im bleeding faster than my body could ever heal.
to what felt compulsory right, now my pulse is not right
because I think you fractured my centered control center
having heard only want I wanted,
having to ask "why do you love me?" redundantly.
I wanna know why has falling in love with me been such a migraine?
for it pains you to hear me cry and it kills me to see you angry

Can you guess.

How long its been since ive thought of you
always thinking of mistakes made and things that cant be taken back
the fact that your even coming back
just aint right,
my past spent days and nights waiting for your call or comment
just 4 months of nothing, responded never
and now your coming home
for what fcking reason?
you've made it clear that you dont know when your coming back here
and now what?
your gonna leave another chick,
which loves and trusts you
how the fck do you think this feels to her?
i was in that place
her patiently waiting...for nothing again
are you gonna treat her bad too?
i mean how many times to you have to do this?
until you realize pain held within.
i never really told you how much it hurt for me to see you leave
scarred in my eyes, ive cried way too many times for you
and now your victimizing another girl
i mean what the fck do we deserve for this?
can you decide where do you want to be already.
this is bullshit >_<

Crush

Consider this a love note
Letting you know this
Just in case you haven't noticed
But Ive started crushing on you:
We've been conjoined at the heart
And i've gone against the laws of physics
that even gravity cant explain how im falling for you
so your face is the only reason i get up early on week day mornings
My body's in inertia but my heart's pace is accelerating at a rate so close to the speed of light
I'm a burning inferno headed atmospheric
and that's when you're not around
So my mind's in lust of your body's healing beauty, simply magnificent
More than mind games casting shadows on mental landscapes, this crush is crushing like a migraine
Your love eclipse blocks my head with thoughts of only you
There's a longing in your eyes that always draws me in, unrequited
Reviewing mentally how great our relationship could be, IF it were reality
Cause you got m imagining me and you on a cruise
To a romantic beach party
Under the starry night's pale moonlit sky reflecting the faces of past lovers immortal
And we've become the exact epitome of their existence,
the forbidden envy of Romeo and Juliet
Stuck in dreamland wishing to never awake in a world without you intertwined in my life
Living completely high on your presence
You got me hazy and its crazy
I want to be your future teddy bear
I know your scent anywhere
My hearts GPS can find you in hallways
Smelling your essence of cherry blossoms telling me you're so close i can taste you in the air
Like an unnoticed mosquito attracted to you
Approaching swiftly, I'm stuck feeling something backed up my throat
And I can't breathe
I'm stuck gasping clueless
So i silently sharpen my tongue aiming my words like cupid's arrow
But when your smile kills my confident bravado
I'm sta-ta-ta stuck stuttering, murdering murmured words in my own la-la-la language
Foreign to your ears like my true emotions
Butterflies in my stomach freeze frozen in flash motion
Like a cardiac arrest on this Siamese heart beating in time to the rhythm of your footsteps
I'm tripping
And this is how I know i'm falling in love with you